A loud, almost metallic, bang stopped conversation in its tracks. After a short pause to regroup, I went to seek the source. Bits of roof falling off? Car accident outside the house? Apparently not. The first clue was an indescribable stench in the back garden. Lavatory fallen off 747? Drain cover blown up by accumulated methane?
No; in a corner stood a forgotten bottle of home made nettle plant food. But now it is only half a bottle. I reeled in the concentrated and fermented stink of a brew which is unnameably vile even when fresh. It is creeping into the house through closed double-glazed windows.
The tricky part is, there is a second bottle. Intact. So far. So what is the game plan? Safety goggles and long tongs, put it in the field and wait for a cow to tread on it? Phone bomb disposal? Advice, please, chaps!